blood-red-ribbons

I want to know That all the things that I wonder, When I walk along the river bank, Are things that you dream of, with somebody else, I want to be sure, That when i show off, When I push myself into your eyes, That it's something you don't care to see, I want to believe that theres someone else, That fills the admittedly small space I've left, I touch the walls where we were, Hoping Grasping onto something, I wish wasnt real. Knowing as much as i deny it, I wish i would find you, Holding up that wall, Stopping oblivion.

I have roses under my skin, Beautiful crimson blossoms, Beguiling in their beauty, All you can smell is their sweetness, Get closer, can you see   Thorns tear at my veins, And every touch brings Unbearable pain

Sometimes, when i'm on the edge of falling, My mind wanders back, to all the mistakes, The irreparable, the foolish, the wise. They follow me, as shadows I cant hide. Every person I've hurt creeps at the corners,   I see myself now, as I was then. When a drip of red was all I was, And I expected black to seep into my veins, Because the only power I had, was those words. I'd write all the things I wanted to be, Onto my skin, until there was nothing but black, And inside, my heart would sink, Slowly, it would fade, and everything I wanted, Washed away. Replaced with grey.

She sold her tears to the sandman, And her fears fell into place, Among the bottles of sleep, Waiting to be sold, Bartered for the best price. She saw her dreams float into the Minds of others as they slept, And guilt trickled through her veins. She gave one fear for another, Another hit to make her forget. Each bottle brought pain, A longing and wrenching, Unfathomable pain. Just one, one more tear, my love The sandman whispered in her ear, as silk covered hands wrap around her throat, And her scream barely echos. Salt stains her cheeks, as she falls to the floor, Another bottle filled. Another cross to bear.

I've forgotten the beauty in a sunset, So cliched and overused, I want to remember, from before time, The sweet reassurance that comes in the form Of a golden warmth across my skin, Fending off the first nights breeze. There's a comfort in the certainty The confirmation of our movement, When the ground feels so shaky Beneath worn tired feet. There's a simplicity lost, In a world so fast paced, I long to lie back, to hold on to the red Dripping in the sky, And savor the grass, gently Cooling beneath my back.

Exhalation My breath leaves my lips, Into Cold air, A wisp of fog in darkness, Paled lips parting, Letting out the grief, The guilt. I laugh, hysterically, The only way I know how, As sparse flakes start to fall, And my feet turn a lighter shade of blue Black skirts swirl around me, My scarves glistening With ice from the grass, Trampled beneath bare feet. My cheekbones seem sharp, Against the fullness of my belly, At odds with the footprint Pushing from my abdomen, The ink on my fingers, Seems to move with each breath, As if living inside me, As if I'm canvas to paint. A life that can still be.

There was a storm the night she was born, Thunder and lighting greeted her into a harsh world, Where light never quite beat darkness, Even in the brightest day, a shadow remained, Covering half the beauty she was blessed with, She found solace underground, where the needles Strewn about her feet were forgotten, And her lilac eyes didn't strain to see. There are bodies touching hers, but she does not feel. The warmth left her skin years ago.

  I can't imagine slowly, Painfully slowly at times, Losing my mind. Memories, Slipping from between Loosely held fingers, A life, drifting in time, Because, you never told that story, You never explained That day you met, Never mentioned, The army days, and boxing haze, That we find, hidden in cupboards, And fruit baskets. The paper feel of skin Beneath my hands, as I hold you, Reminding you I'm the granddaughter, You think is still three, When you hug me, All I can feel is your spine, Desperately stretching out of the skin, I hold back my tears, And tell you I love you, Fearing, you'll forget Before I can remind you ag